As someone who has been on both ends of the breakup, I can tell you the first holiday is always the hardest. The feelings that come with the plans that never happen. The one less family gathering. The feelings of loneliness. The holidays bring up every emotion and with those emotions you might find yourself reaching for your phone. DON’T. Don’t pick up your phone and call your ex. Don’t send a text, an email, or a damn carrier pigeon. The holidays are meant to be joyful. The holidays aren’t meant for you to feel a bit lonely and then text your ex.
The act itself would be simply selfish. Don’t be selfish in a time of desperation. The potential pain which comes from that moment of weakness isn’t worth the few texts that might make you feel a bit less lonely.
No, they don’t want to hear from you on their holiday. Hell noooo. Your call or text won’t make their holiday better. In reality, you probably ruined it. Your call or text may have made them feel better… for a few minutes…. until it sent them on another downward spiral on the emotional rollercoaster. The reality is still the same. You are no longer a couple. Now the selfish act makes you look like an even bigger asshole.
When you feel the urge to contact them here are few things you can do instead: call your best friend, text your mom, go for a drive, or sit down, make a list, and remind yourself why you ended the relationship in the first place. There’s a reason. Unless the reason has significantly changed, don’t even think about picking up your phone!
During the holiday season and always, choose to not be selfish. Leave your phone at home, especially if wine is involved!