Leave Your Phone At Home

As someone who has been on both ends of the breakup, I can tell you the first holiday is always the hardest. The feelings that come with the plans that never happen. The one less family gathering. The feelings of loneliness. The holidays bring up every emotion and with those emotions you might find yourself reaching for your phone. DON’T. Don’t pick up your phone and call your ex. Don’t send a text, an email, or a damn carrier pigeon. The holidays are meant to be joyful. The holidays aren’t meant for you to feel a bit lonely and then text your ex.

The act itself would be simply selfish. Don’t be selfish in a time of desperation. The potential pain which comes from that moment of weakness isn’t worth the few texts that might make you feel a bit less lonely.

No, they don’t want to hear from you on their holiday. Hell noooo. Your call or text won’t make their holiday better. In reality, you probably ruined it. Your call or text may have made them feel better… for a few minutes…. until it sent them on another downward spiral on the emotional rollercoaster. The reality is still the same.  You are no longer a couple. Now the selfish act makes you look like an even bigger asshole.

When you feel the urge to contact them here are few things you can do instead: call your best friend, text your mom, go for a drive, or sit down, make a list, and remind yourself why you ended the relationship in the first place. There’s a reason. Unless the reason has significantly changed, don’t even think about picking up your phone!

During the holiday season and always, choose to not be selfish.  Leave your phone at home, especially if wine is involved!

10 Tips and Tricks For Easier Moving

Holy shit guys!!!  I’m finally in my new place!  It still feels a bit surreal. Saturday was the big day and I went nonstop!  

A huge thanks to my dream team for helping with the unloading and unpacking. Seriously, we got the U-Haul unpacked in an hour. Amazzzzing!!! Since this was my 3rd time moving in 2016 and what feels like my millionth time moving since I graduated from high school, I’ve kind of got this whole moving thing down. So I’m sharing 10 tips and tricks for easier moving that I’ve picked up along the way.


1. Establish your dream team, but don’t get crazy.

Ask friends and family to help you move but be careful to not have too many people. Sometimes, TOO many people can actually get less done.


2. Make sure your dream team consists of a few members who are capable of heavy lifting.

It’s always nice to have a heavy lifter on your team.


3. Pre-Pack what you know you won’t need in the weeks leading up to the move.

If it’s summer, you’re probably safe to pack your winter gear, etc. I work best under pressure (insert David Bowie music here) so for most of my moves I wait until the last minute to do all my packing. This isn’t something I’d typically recommend, but at least you know it can all be done.


4. PURGE.

Purge before you move and purge again after. Get rid of things! Donate them. Sell them. I don’t care how you get rid of them, just get rid of them! That sweater you kept last year because you told yourself you’d wear it but you never did, yah get rid of it. You’re never going to wear it. Someone else might as well love it. I’m telling you, it’s good for your soul.


5. Use laundry baskets.

Pile as much as you can in one. Less trips, easy to carry, and who doesn’t have laundry baskets lying around??


6. DON’T take your clothes off the hangers.

Why waste your time when you’re just going to turn around and hang them back up? Seriously. NO.. ONE.. has time for that!  Keep them on the hanger and either pack them in a suitcase or put a garbage bag over them. Your clothes will stay safe and you will save yourself time and energy.


7. Use plastic storage containers instead of cardboard boxes.  

I typically try to use the clear ones so you can see exactly what is in that box. You can get some for $7 and they’ll have a purpose after the move. Plus, there’s no guessing game.  If you need to immediately get to something, you can see where it is. Viola! You don’t have to go ripping through them. Again, nobody has time for that!


8. ALWAYS have a roll of toilet paper handy.

Yep, you read that correctly. That dream team of yours is going to have use to the bathroom and nothing is worse than having the toilet paper packed at the front of the U-Haul. (Except maybe not having any at all…)


9. Pack breakables extra well.

Newspaper, bubble wrap, or plastic bags have all worked for me. Even if you think they’re well wrapped, wrap them again.


And last but not least…

10. Take a deep breath and try to stay relaxed.

Everything will get packed. Everything will get unpacked. This is something I kept reminding myself during this move. Rather than being a stressed out mega bitch, I was an easy, breezy, bundle of joy (just ask the dream team)

Stay In Your Own Lane

I started writing this post while nursing quiiite a hangover. Naturally between Netflix binge-watching from the comfort of my bed and napping, I found myself scrolling through Facebook and Instagram liking beautiful pictures of cute little families cutting down Christmas trees and decorating their homes.  After seeing these happy moments, I found myself comparing my life to theirs.  

It’s difficult to not get wrapped up in the comparison trap. Facebook friends are getting married and having babies (which I love to see), and I’m over here just thankful to see my rubber tree make it another week.

I think there’s a lot of pressure now-a-days that leads people to believe their lives need to look a certain way. You need to go to college, get a degree, get a job, get married, buy a house, have babies, raise babies, and retire. That’s how life is “supposed” to be and if it doesn’t look exactly that way, then you did it wrong.

Be proud of your personal milestones. Whether your personal milestone is marrying the love of your life,  paying your student loans off, or going out with girlfriends and not drunk texting your ex then celebrate  your milestone! 

I think it’s important to remember your path may not be the same as your best friends. Take a look at how far your personal path has come and don’t beat yourself up because your path looks different than the next person’s. Everyone’s life looks perfect on social media but the reality is everyone has their own shit. In a lot of ways, we’re all the same.  Just people trying to figure this life out. So don’t compare yourself. Stay in your own lane and focus on your hopes and dreams.  Always remember: be proud of yourself, and be your own cheerleader because the world puts enough pressure on us as it is.

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Why I’ll Never Settle

The last few weeks have been crazy, and it’s taken me a while to really put my thoughts into words. There aren’t any pretty pictures with perfect lighting, and posting a mountain picture with this just didn’t quite make sense. Today, it’s just my raw, real words straight from the heart.

I’ve dated a lot. I’ve had the relationships you can only shake your head at, the ones you just want to erase from the universe, and the few I openly like to admit. Each relationship brought growth and change in myself which helped shape me to be who I am today; and I can honestly say, I’m pretty damn proud of this person.

I think there’s a stigma around people who go through a lot of relationships. “That girl is a whore”, “that guy is a player”, but what if that wasn’t the case at all? What if that person was just really firm on what they wanted and needed from a relationship and never settled?

It’s crazy to think some people settle on one of the most important decisions of their life. A decision which will be with them until the day they die.

I choose not to settle. Maybe some people see me as picky, and I’m ok with it because we’re not talking about what I want on my burger. Nope. We’re talking about my life long partner. I’ll be picky about this one.

Don’t get me wrong.  I completely understand relationships aren’t “all daisies and sunshine”. My parents have been together for 20+ years.  I have been blessed to be raised in a home which has been open and honest about the work which goes into a happy and healthy relationship. My mom’s favorite saying is, “I may not like your father right now, but I still love him”. Real talk, for sure. I’m not asking for a perfect person, no one is perfect. I want to be with someone who lifts me up, someone who believes in my wildest dreams. I want to be with someone I can be 100% myself with. I’ll be the first to tell you I’m opinionated, I’m stubborn, sometimes I’m completely all over the place, and I don’t always wear a bra.  I want someone who embraces each of these pieces of me. In the past, I have been TOO much. Too much energy. Too much fire. Too much passion. Too much love.  Too much emotion. Too much drive.  Finally, I came to the realization that someone else’s TOO much was exactly what made me, me. I refuse to conform to someone else’s ideal of who they think I should be. Even through the different heart aches, I continue to believe the right person for me is out there.

I will not let the fear of being alone keep me in a relationship which does not embrace the real me.

There’s something beautiful about new beginnings. The unknown. The freedom that comes from making it on your own. This is entirely what I’m embracing! So for the person reading this who may be on the fence, trust your gut. Trust the feeling in the pit of your stomach. Don’t stay just because it’s comfortable. Growth comes from making difficult decisions. Some decisions are uncomfortable, and downright scary, and some of these decisions will change your life. Dig deep and examine exactly what you want.  If that doesn’t match where you are right now, change it. Quit that job. Move to a new state. Move into the city. Leave the toxic relationship. Do it all at once if you have to because life is way too short to be anything but an adventure!

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